


Hiraeth

by pumpkin_latte



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Attempt at Humor, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual mild smut, Fluff, M/M, Past Abuse, Slow Burn, Voilence, Yoo Kihyun Is a Little Shit, ace hyungwon, but its also serious and a little sad, by mild i mean you'll miss it if you blink, enjoy, idk what else to tag, maybe im not sure how the smut will go tbh, no actual people were harmed in the making of this fic, plz enjoy, some mystery, timestamps are important, wonho is v soft boy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-08-28 01:49:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16714219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pumpkin_latte/pseuds/pumpkin_latte
Summary: Hiraeth :"Hiraeth is a Welsh concept of longing for home, which can be loosely translated as 'nostalgia', or, more commonly, 'homesickness'. Many Welsh people claim 'hiraeth' is a word which cannot be translated, meaning more than solely "missing something" or "missing home." (Wikipedia)





	1. I

**Hiraeth [Chapter I]**

* * *

 

**11.02.18**

 

Today is shit.

 

In particular, it's shit for Im Changkyun.

 

It's one of those days where nothing extremely terrible happens, but everything seems to go just absolutely wrong.  

 

A really bad fucking day, is what it is.

 

And he doesn't even realize how bad it's been until he's struggling to unlock the door to his studio apartment. 

It all began at the ungodly hour of 5AM, as if waking up that early wasn't bad enough. Changkyun was forced to take a painfully cold shower in the dead of winter because the hot water pipe in his shabby apartment building just had to freeze. On his commute to class, an impatient teenager bumped into him, which made Changkyun drop his phone on cold hard asphalt, crack the once perfectly smooth screen, which then resulted in a pterodactyl screech when said cracked screen was noticed. In class, the one godforsaken time he didn't do his homework, the professor called on him to answer a question he wasn't really paying attention to, and so he just stammered like an idiot that had forgotten how to use his mouth. On his way home, freezing rain was in the forecast, and yep, he'd forgotten his damn umbrella at home.

He nearly falls to the ground after having to literally push the door open with his entire body since the shitty thing is so old it gets stuck whenever it's too moist out. He throws his keys to the side table, missing by a few inches, and plops himself heavily on the couch. It takes him a moment to realize his day has indeed just gotten worse, because now the couch is wet and freezing, which wouldn’t be a problem if it didn’t double as his bed- since he’s too broke to afford an actual mattress.

He groans heavily, dreading the thought of using precious energy and moving even a single cell inside his body, until the chilling cold from his wet clothes settles deep inside his bones. He heaves himself up as if he's a lump of rocks and trudges to the bathroom.

Showers are a time when Changkyun can get lost in the caverns of his mind and fully indulge his thoughts. He thinks of the meaning of life, why leveling up in Skyrim after 45 is nearly impossible, or how vacuums are made, and if vacuums would work in the vast vacuum of space. He lets hot water run over his face like a violent stream that both fuels his mind and calms his body. When his fingers are pruned, he finally shuts off the water and attempts to find his slippers somewhere in the thick steam, drying his small but fit figure quickly. He secures a silver necklace around his neck, which he'd carefully placed beside the sink before stepping under water, and throws on his lazy clothes.

 

His stomach is growling up a storm and it demands to be fed before it eats his insides. He decides pizza would suit his fancy this shitty night, then he'll probably settle in and play video games until he passes out. Thank fucking goodness it's Friday.

The delivery would take a good 45 minutes, considering he ordered half the menu from the new pizza place downtown. He makes himself comfortable on the still-cold couch, hoping his butt will warm up the seat a bit.

Video games are played for a good 50 minutes until the doorbell buzzes, and Changkyun scurries towards the door, tripping over himself as he tries to place feet inside his Black Panther slippers.

"I'm coming!" he yells, hopping halfway because his left foot had fallen asleep and he couldn't feel shit, and so the slipper just dangled awkwardly off a toe.

He opens the door only to have his breath snatched right out of his lungs. He lunges his foot inside the slipper because he cannot look dumb right now. He just can't, because at his doorstep stands the most beautiful human his eyes have ever seen.

The delivery boy has silken blonde hair and is honestly a work of art. Bangs drape over his forehead, just barely over his lashes. His chocolate eyes sparkle like champagne, but... that smile. That smile is numinous. He looks like an angel who's descended from the heavens specifically to deliver Changkyun's pizza and things.

"Hello! I have your delivery, sir. Your total is $45.69," the blonde boy smiles almost blindingly at Changkyun, with his perfect teeth and all.

Changkyun blinks a few times, his brain finally registering that he's staring almost shamelessly. His mouth moves to form words, but all he manages is an incoherent stutter.

"Sir? Are you okay? Your food is getting cold. I wouldn't want you to have a cold meal"

Oh, of course he just _has_ to be kind as well. So much so that Changkyun fights the urge to embrace him or fall to his feet in praise, especially after the day he's just had.

 _The cute guy is saying something, snap out of it Changkyun!_ He finally comes to his senses, smiling sheepishly at the magnificence before him, "n- no, I'm fine, just.... tired, uhm--"

"Oh, well, I hope you rest a lot tonight in that case! Here, please take this inside before it gets too cold. I'd hate for your meal to be ruined"

"R-right, uhm, how much was the food stuff again?"

 _Food stuff?! Really?!_ He mentally slaps himself at his loss for proper language. It's been only two minutes and he's already managed to embarrassed himself, _TWICE_.

"It's $45.69!" The delivery boy replies with another bright smile and his eyes sparkle like a thousand diamond chandeliers.

Changkyun nods, wondering how the hell he spent so much and how the heavens blessed him with this magnificent human to deliver his food. He reaches for the side table, rummaging for his wallet with nervous hands, but knocks over the vase, which knocks over his glasses which are tangled in his phone charger and they all tumble to the ground to join the keys that’d made refuge there earlier. He cusses internally as the delivery man peeks inside with worry, entering the doorway just slightly. Changkyun's embarrassment count is now at three.

"I can help you with that! That's sharp glass," he says, looking at the black haired boy who's still trying to locate his wallet among the dropped mess.

"No, no, don't worry! Please, it's okay"

But he's already inside, placed the food on the almost broken coffee table, and is picking up the broken pieces of glass.

Changkyun decides it's best to quickly find his wallet, before he does anything else stupid. But his sleeping leg is coming back alive, and he hides a painfully obvious look of pain as a thousand needles prickle his leg. He curses the world, because why, why today?

"Where can I toss these?" Asks the delivery boy, holding several pieces of glass in his bare hands.

"I'm so sorry, t-thank you so much, here, uhm," he stutters, composing himself (hopefully) in time. He quickly finds a plastic bag that had made its home on the floor. "And... here," Changkyun says, handing the man his last 50 dollar bill once the broken glass is securely inside the bag. The delivery man rummages around a small black bag for change.

"No No! I don't need change, the rest is your tip"

The delivery man looks up at him, eyes lighting up brighter than a million stars in the dead of night.

"Thank you sir! And I'm sorry for coming in"

"No worries... thank you for helping me"

His voice is soft. "Don't thank me, please. I hope you enjoy your food and rest well"

The moment the man leaves and Changkyun shuts the door, a loud groan escapes his lips as he curses his own stupidity. He was about to rip himself a new one for acting like a dumb fool in front of someone so handsome - and so his type- when the inviting smell of food forces him to save it for another time.

 

* * *

 

**11.03.18**

 

The next day he wakes up at 3pm. He'd fallen asleep at 6am, because there was no save point in the game for another 5 missions and he'd worked way too hard and gotten way too far to give in to something as feeble as sleep. He eats leftovers, smiling like a teenager with a crush as he remembers the beautiful man who brought this calorie-filled, fried, artery-clogging meal to him.

When the sun finally bids goodnight and moonlight vapors out into the darkening sky, he decides it's time to forget his worries.

Changkyun isn't too much of the social type. His three best friends are all he needs, but sometimes he fancies his own company, and the club is the perfect place to forget. And so he does exactly that. He slips on a pair of tight black skinny jeans that are ripped just enough, a loose pink sweater, black boots, and a thick jacket because it's cold as shit outside and he doesn't particularly want icicles to form under his nostrils.

When he gets to his usual club Changkyun doesn't give two fucks. He holds his head high and drinks shots after shots until he feels that sting of bliss burn his throat. He dances as if he's alone, not caring who's watching. No one ever pays attention to anyone anyways, so it's the perfect escape.

He immediately downs two shots as if they're water, then orders a martini. He drinks one after the other until his thoughts haze and the bouldering stress of the week fades, loosening his body enough to enter the dance floor.

And when he does, his body moves as if each note is dissolving in his veins, controlling him in most basic cellular level. Every part of him flows with every beat and every rhythm with smooth, sharp perfection, until someone bumps into him, breaking his groove and making him pout like a puppy.  

"I'm so sorry!"

Says the voice and Changkyun turns to see its owner. He freezes unwillingly, pout now dry parted lips. The guy that bumped into him freezes too and it becomes a match for a few seconds, of who could stare longer. At that moment, Changkyun is certain the Earth has broken off its orbit to specifically circle these two alone.

They gape at each other for a few seconds longer before reality catches up and knocks at their craniums.

"Hey, did you rest well?"

Changkyun stares blankly at the man before him. Without a doubt, it's the handsome delivery guy he's been ogling over since last night.

"H-hi-ello, y-yes?"

 _Dammit speak properly!_ He curses his inability again, all the confidence he oozed a moment ago now completely gone.

"That's good, I'm glad you're feeling better and rested," he giggles adorably.

"T-thanks... uhm, thanks for delivering my food"

Changkyun mentally face palms himself. Again. Starting to think it'll be safer if he just keeps his mouth shut.

"Just doing my job!" he smiles, seemingly oblivious to the stupidity of Changkyun's words. But silence exclusive to them in such a loud and crowded bar passed between, making their eye-contact break. "Well... I hope you enjoy your night"

"You too..." is all Changkyun manages to utter. The moment he's safely out of sight somewhere beyond the thick crowds, Changkyun slaps himself. Literally. He obviously isn't drunk enough.

 

* * *

 

 

**11.04.18**

 

Sunday morning Changkyun wakes up feeling as if he's been hit by a bus and a train while someone stabs his brain continuously and simultaneously. His head pounds violently and he reeks of alcohol, making him wonder how something that tastes so euphoric can smell so bad afterwards. He saves that as a shower thought to visit later.  

A low groan of annoyance leaves his mouth as the treachery of bright sunlight aggravates his migraine to unbearable highs, and so he buries his head farther into the plush pillow as his ears ring savagely.

He forces his body up a few minutes later and makes the clothes on his body rain on the way to the bathroom. He carefully places the silver necklace beside the sink, and (literally) throws himself in the shower, eyes still half closed, and brain surprisingly silent. When he's done and dressed in a new pair of clothes- with that fresh out-of-the-dryer scent which he breathes in for a good five consecutive minutes- he rummages through the apartment in a hunt for painkillers, only to find an empty bottle.

Changkyun huffs in annoyance. The universe is truly against him and he momentarily regrets drinking despite knowing all too well that alcohol always comes with its best friend: head-splitting migraines.

He slips on a jacket over his pastel pink bunny pajamas and makes for the convenience store with godspeed. The one good thing about not being popular and being practically invisible is that you never run into anyone you know. People mostly leave you alone, and that's how Changkyun likes it. He remembers a terrible time from his early college days when this girl actually recognized him from their freshman Physics class, since she sat beside him most of the time. She'd waved to Changkyun enthusiastically, and Changkyun hated it. Because it forced him to pay attention to actual people (how terrible) when all he wanted was to lose himself as his headphones drowned the outside world with melody. She didn't say hi to him again. And he thanked the gods.

An annoyingly loud bell jingles as he enters his usual (closest) convenience store, waving a quick hand and a small smile towards the store owner lounged at the counter. He quickly grabs the largest bottle of painkillers available, as well as some frozen breakfast and a box of Twinkies that looks oddly appetizing in all its fat filled golden glory. He barely turns to make his way to the counter, when his face crashes into something hard, making him drop the medicine.

"I'm so sorry, let me get that!"

_You've got to be kidding_

Changkyun almost says out loud the moment he recognizes that sweet voice. He looks up to see none other than the handsome delivery boy.

"I-it's okay"

The boy hands Changkyun his dropped medicine, smiling that same smile that could end wars.

"Too much to drink last night?"

Changkyun blinks a few times, flattered and confused, because the thought of such a handsome man making conversation with him seems too good to be true. He mentally scolds himself for having stepped out in such a messy state, and in pink bunny pajamas nonetheless. Had he known he would run into this guy, he would've dressed better. And made his hair. But at least he's showered and that makes him feel slightly better. 

"K-kinda..."

The man nods. "Make sure to drink lots of water and juice... ginger also helps" as the delivery boy speaks, Changkyun swears his perfect smile is blinding him, but nothing like that mean aggravating sun, "and... I suggest getting ibuprofen for that headache... acetaminophen isn't the best choice for hangovers"

"I'll get that then... thanks" Changkyun smiles with flustered cheeks, a hundred percent convinced this guy is heaven sent.

"I hope you feel better"

 

When Changkyun returns to the confining comforts of his home, he sinks into the couch and gazes at the ceiling with a big goofy smile on his face. He momentarily forgets about the massive migraine plaguing his skull, because he can only see that handsome strangers face as if he were the sun itself.

 

* * *

 

 

**11.05.18**

 

The next day Changkyun rushes home from class, opens the door with his entire body, again, falls to the ground face first, and orders pizza, still on the ground, mind you, hoping he'll get to see that smile again. He puts on his best outfit and waits nervously for 20 minutes until the doorbell buzzes, making him jump a foot off the couch. He quickly fixes his hair and walks as casually as possible to the door to quite literally yank it open.

His expectant smile fades as a short woman with resting bitch-face opens her mouth. For the mere second before words leave her mouth, Changkyun hopes she's not the delivery guy, praying she's here to convince him of some political thing or even religion instead. Until he notices the store logo on her hat and the pizza box in her small hands. He pouts like a puppy.

"$12.50," she mutters without even saying hello, and Changkyun titles her the rudest person to ever exist.

Changkyun frowns in disappointment, and quickly pays the woman. She leaves without saying a word more

 

The next day he does the same, but is greeted by an overweight man in his 50's. The day after he tries again, but opens the door to a 16 year old boy who looked somewhere between drunk and high. By the fifth day he's just about to give up, mainly because his stomach can't handle any more pizza and his wallet is literally crying, but he decides to try _one last time_.

He orders chicken wings this time, knowing it would only take 15 minutes to deliver, and because they're cheap. But mostly because it'll take just 15 minutes. He puts on his best outfit, again, and waits.

After thirteen minutes of waiting with a bored expression and little hope, the doorbell buzzes. He strolls over half heartedly, knowing it isn't the beautiful man, but he fixes his hair and clears his throat anyways for that 1% chance.

He opens the door and nearly dies of relief when that glowing smile he so dearly wanted to see blesses his eager eyes.

"Hello! How are you?" Greets the delivery boy of Changkyun's wet dreams. A smile creeps on the latter's face, extending from ear to ear as he fails to act cool and contain his excitement.

"H-hi, it's you! Finally," he whispers the last word under his breath, instantly praying the other hadn't heard that bit. But Changkyun is unfortunately an incredibly unfortunate lad.

"Oh I'm so sorry! You must have been waiting for a long time for your food"

God he was too precious.

Too pure.

Too his type.

Changkyun blinks a few times before the wheels in his head finally turn, "what? No! No, I didn't mean you took too long, I meant that you are finally here! I mean, that's not what I mean, that was creepy, what I mean is that I'm just glad it's you and not that lady from the other day," he rambles almost too fast to understand, hoping he's covered up his mistake.

"Ooh I see, well, then I'm glad!" he says with smiling eyes and Changkyun's heart nearly jumps out of his chest and into the delivery boys arms.

His damn eyes smiled. How that's even possible, Changkyun has no idea, but pterodactyls fly in his stomach and heat pools somewhere even deeper.

"How much do I owe you?"

"It's $5.26, sir"

"Keep the change," Changkyun hands him a 10 dollar bill, finally looking directly into the twilight of his eyes, "and you don't need to call me sir..."

"Oh, uhm... then what should I call you?"

"Changkyun"

 


	2. II

**Chapter II**

* * *

 

**11.12.18**

 

Sunday passes and the sadness of Monday rolls around, but Changkyun still has a colony of pterodactyls rampaging inside his stomach.

 

_'I'm Wonho, it's nice to meet you, Changkyun!_ '

 

It doesn't help that his sweet voice is (still) resonating repeatedly as he dozes off in class.

 

_Wonho... Wonho, oh Wonho_

 

He can't stop repeating the name and it eventually becomes a deep echo, the little moment already burned in his memory. He sighs longingly, but is brought back to reality when a sharp object jabs at his side and makes him yelp quietly in pain.

"Concentrate! You wanna fail the exam?!" His best friend scolds in a harsh whisper, retreating his fully sharpened pencil from Changkyun's side.

"But Kihyun _I'm in love"_

"That's not love you idiot, that's hormones, now pay attention!"

"I'm not a teenager"

"You're 22. You're basically a fetus, now pay attention"

Changkyun rolls his eyes so far back he almost sees his own brain, but he also knows Kihyun is right (as usual) and finally tries to concentrate on the biology lecture. After all, he'll be paying 1.5K + interest for this class alone once he graduates. When lecture finally comes to an end, he's met with a tackle from his other two best friends that are practically attached at the hip: Minhyuk and Jooheon.

"Changkyunnie, you're in LOVE?!" Minhyuk screeches excitedly, making sure half the hallway hears him (because that's just Lee Minhyuk for you)  

 

Oh the _betrayal_  

 

Kihyun has always been a quick little shit who never misses a beat when exposing people, but Changkyun's hostile glare is surprised nonetheless.

"It's just a crush, I think. I don't really know"

"Well, what's his name?" Jooheon asks as he slings an arm around Changkyun's shoulder, and Minhyuk reciprocates on the other side.

"Wonho." Changkyun's skin detoxifies and his depression almost cures from the thrill of saying his name out loud to actual living breathing people (and not just the humble NPC's of Dragon Age). 

"Ah... what an odd name. How old is he? Is he in college? Where does he live? What does he do?" Kihyun interrogates with crossed arms, until Minhyuk punches his side to get him to shut up.

"I don't know, _mom_. I only know his name and that he's a delivery guy for that new pizza place downtown"

"Then how _the fuck_ do you call that a crush?! You don't even _know_ him"

Minhyuk lets go of Changkyun and slings a heavy arm over Kihyun's small shoulders. "Hey, savage hamster, that's literally the definition of a crush. It's a first sight type of thing. Maybe if your heart wasn't so cold and dead, you'd know," he smirks, which makes Kihyun shoot daggers through his eyes. Minhyuk opens his mouth to continue insulting the latter, but Jooheon smacks him upside the head before air can leave his mouth with a 'not the time for your sass, but you're right and I agree but I also don't want Kihyun to know I agree because he'll give me hell' look- because yes, that is a look Jooheon gives that only Minhyuk understands.

Jooheon leans further on Changkyun's shoulders, almost putting his entire weight. "Well, I'm happy that you like someone," he steps back as Changkyun almost stumbles, and mutters without really thinking, "It's been a really long time"

"Has it?" Changkyun says out loud when it was meant to be just one of those annoying spontaneous thoughts that just come out of literally nowhere and are meant to be ignored.

Kihyun tilts his head and eyes Jooheon with all the judgment in the world, and the latter bites his lips, realizing he shouldn't have said that last bit.

Minhyuk laughs just awkwardly, which sounds very fake, deep, and obvious to the situation, and lodges himself between Jooheon and Changkyun, latching onto the latter like a sloth on a branch. "It has, but let's not get into that right now. Let's go eat, I'm so hungry I could literally eat Hungary," he saves the situation, gently ruffling Changkyun's hair as his warm smile makes the other three smile too, because it's beautifully contagious. Everything feels right in this moment. In fact, Changkyun feels great and there's a good feeling exploding in his chest: that everything will be fine as long as he's got these three by his side, and Wonho as his delivery boy.

 

 

Their lunch is spent at a cafe they frequent at least once a day. It's rush hour and the line is excruciatingly long as people flood inside after class from nearby campus', or work from neighboring retailers and office buildings. Even tourist come here and it's nice to see a fresh face once in a while. 

Changkyun dozes off while staring at the menu, even though he's practically memorized it at this point, but it gives him something to do. Jooheon, Minhyuk, and Kihyun are merely background noise as they argue over what movie should be seen later today. Changkyun had suggested romance, but it was rejected with lightning speed.

 

The bell above the entrance sounds, and Changkyun peeks over his shoulder as the newcomer takes their place in line behind them.

Changkyun really, really, _really_ begins to question the concept of fate because his eyes meet with the beautiful champagne ones of the handsome delivery guy who'd given him sinful dreams. Changkyun hopes and prays the man doesn't notice, but, well...he's staring and is too far gone to pry his eyes off now, so might as well just keep staring, right?

"Hey Changkyun! We keep running into each other," he says with a cute bunny-like giggle.

_He said my name... He said my name he said my name his laugh is so adorable I'm gonna die,_ "Y-yeah, it's weird. I mean, it isn't weird, not like a bad weird. It's cool. Uhm...," Changkyun trips over his thoughts as his mind practically combusts.

 

Kihyun is the first to notice the conversation behind them. He turns around and eyes Wonho suspiciously.

"Who the hell are you?"

Changkyun immediately stabs his skinny sharp fingers into Kihyun's side, glaring at him with eyes that scream 'HE'S MY CRUSH SO BE NICE YOU JERK'. Kihyun smirks in understanding.

"I'm Wonho, nice to meet you!" He smiles that death-defying smile and extends his hand towards the bite-sized being for a handshake.

Kihyun studies Wonho's hand for a few seconds, and only after he deems it clean enough for him to touch does he return the gesture with one, firm shake. "Kihyun."

Minhyuk and Jooheon - who had been too invested in arguing over a movie- finally notice the newcomer and instantly eye Wonho from head to toe approvingly.

Minhyuk gasps. "Changkyun's got a new friend? I'm Minhyuk, so mice to meet you, really. This honey bee here is Jooheon"

Changkyun cries a little on the inside because he honestly wants to dig his grave right about now. Why would he ever trust them to act normal for once in their life? Oh, right, he doesn't trust them to act normal, ever.

"I can introduce myself thank you very much," Jooheon declares with a fake pout of insult before extending his hand for Wonho to shake, "but he's right, I'm a honey bee known as Jooheon," he grins with dimples that Minhyuk pokes as soon as they appear. Wonho's eyes seem to soften as his hand touches Jooheon's, but no one seems to notice- except maybe Kihyun, but he doesn't think much of it, because Jooheon is a soft boy and naturally has that effect on people.

"It's really nice to meet you all," Wonho says and Changkyun melts to the ground. This man is going to be the death of Im Changkyun, that's for sure. They barely know each other, yet Changkyun feels like he's just introduced his boyfriend to his weird, embarrassing, judgmental family. The mere thought makes him want to screech unintelligibly until his lungs collapse.

A silence falls over Changkyun and Wonho when the other three occupy themselves in deciding a movie again. Changkyun tries his best to look anywhere else, but it proves to be impossible; Wonho's shirt is unbuttoned until mid-chest, giving him full view of milky skin and those collarbones, as well as enough chest to know he's probably ripped. His skin is glistening and it looks like he's just came from a heavy workout session, because he's glowing and its breathtaking. Changkyun's ears burn red and has to blink a few times to break his eyes away from all that is Wonho's glory. He feels that heat pool inside him again and fears his fiercely beating heart can be heard from outside the cavities of his chest.

 

An awkward silence passes.

 

The line moves forward. Wonho tells him it's he's next and the cashier is waiting  

Changkyun realizes he's embarrassed himself again. He has never been happier to order food and get out of line than he is today. 

He quickly sits down at the far end of the booth, covering his lap with his bag, because, well... that heat pooled a little too far down. When Wonho picks up his take-out bag, he nearly kills Changkyun with a soft gummy smile and a cute wave goodbye.

 

Changkyun most definitely, 100000000 percent has a crush on Wonho. He's more certain of that than he is about chapter 5 in his Physics book: optics.

 

 

* * *

 

**11.17.18**

 

A few days have passed and his luck has finally exhausted. He hasn't bumped into Wonho since the cafe and he really, almost desperately, wants to see him. So when that Saturday sky turns dark he decides to spend the night drinking and dancing to forget his longing heart and almost childish crush.

 

Changkyun dresses his sexiest today. He wears skin tight black leather pants, a leather jacket over an unbuttoned black blazer and a see-through white shirt as well as thick combat boots. He sprays copious amounts of hairspray that isn't too overpowering, so his hair stays in place to expose forehead. He finishes the look by slipping on several rings and a chain necklace that just barely hides the usual silver one underneath his shirt.

Changkyun never dresses up for anyone but himself. It isn't often that his attire is this outstanding, but when he needs to feel good and let go of everything, he becomes his most confident self.  

When he gets to the club he follows his usual routine: order a few shots, a few martinis, then hit the dance floor when he reaches euphoria. And _damn_ , does he reach it.

 

 

 

Wonho sinks into the booth across the dance floor with his two best friends. They had just finished eating and were about to order drinks when the corner of his eye catches someone dancing like a sex-beast smack center of the dance floor.

It doesn't even take a full second for Wonho to be absolutely mesmerized in every sense, because the black haired boy is in so much leather that every curve of his slender body is accentuated. His jaw nearly falls off when the dancing boy thrusts his hips, popping them as if they're not even attached. When Changkyun's hand threads though silky black hair, only to trail down his torso and grab the front of his jeans for another powerful thrust, Wonho bites his lip and swallows just a little too hard.

He can't take his eyes off the boy even if he wanted to. The way he moves is perfection. It's music itself; purely captivating yet addicting in every sense. The way he twists his hips and waves his entire body, dancing so freely as if only he exists in a world that's purely his own, contrasted the unbearable yearn in his expression. He radiates confidence, sexuality, and passion through his body, yet something completely different on his face makes him ethereal as he mouths the words with a mischievous grin.

He watches as Changkyun makes his way back to the bar once the song ends and one of a different genre begins playing. He notices the small frown on Changkyun's face as the new song blares and wonders if the previous song was one of his favorites. He tries to recall what had been playing just seconds ago, but his ears are still ringing from the sight.

Big Bang's Bae Bae, he suddenly remembers.

Wonho watches him down another 2, no, 3... _no_ , 4 shots. He watches as he stumbles onto the dance floor again, bumping into everyone in his path without giving two shits. Wonho watches him until he legitimately fears for the drunk mans safety, and finally makes way into his empty world.

He tries his best to shove his way towards Changkyun, but these people are like super charged atoms firing at random, at any given direction, at any given moment. Wonho looks around, panicking just a little when he fails to spot Changkyun anywhere, until someone steps on his foot, loses their balance, and crash lands in his arms.

Wonho looks down to see who he's caught, and can't help but sigh in relief upon seeing the drunken mess he'd been looking for.

"You're, I'm sorry, I am... _ahh muuuuscles"_

Wonho gapes quizzically at the man in his arms, who still hasn't looked up, but is instead squeezing Wonho's biceps like the world's most amusing stress toy.

"Hey... I think we should get you water"

Wonho's voice seems to bring ten percent of Changkyun's mind back to reality, because he looks up, meets his eyes, and grins like an absolute goofball.

"It's you! We run into, each other like, so, _so_ much"

"Yes, and right now you need to run some water down so you'll feel better, okay?" Wonho says, leading Changkyun to an empty booth with an arm protectively around his waist. Changkyun, meanwhile, latches onto his torso like a baby koala. He's a stumbling disaster, tripping over himself more than once and almost face-planting a chair.

Wonho sits him down, quickly retrieves a water bottle and twists it open. He gently presses it against Changkyun's lips, nudging him to drink, but instead Changkyun kisses the bottle. _Fucking kisses it,_ then continues to giggle uncontrollably as if he's just witnessed the world's funniest video.

"No, you need to _drink_ the water," Wonho explains, taking a sip himself as if to demonstrate. He brings the bottle to Changkyun's lips again, who pokes his tongue out and traces the rim of the bottle' s mouth where Wonho's lips had been, before finally drinking.

While Changkyun drinks water, Wonho's eyes drink him up. He's too sexy. Too sensual. And Wonho is losing his mind. A few drops of water trail down the edge of Changkyun's mouth and onto his neck, leaving a wet stream over a little mole on the side, his barely exposed chest, and stopping only when that thin fabric dissolves it. The way Changkyun's Adam's apple bobs every time he takes a gulp and the way his wet coral lips press against the bottle make Wonho gulp so hard his throat hurts.

A few seconds pass and both of them are finally done drinking. Changkyun turns to Wonho abruptly, slightly startling him. His lips curve into a timid smile, but he quickly averts his gaze from Wonho's.

 

"What's wrong?"

"Nooothing." Changkyun practically sings.

"Do you need food? I think some food will help"

"Can I eat you?"

Wonho blinks a few times with a hilariously surprised expression. He isn't sure if he's heard the guy correctly, or if his ears are ringing, or if 'you' is a new food trend he didn't know of, but Changkyun's voice dripped the deepest riches of velvet and Wonho fears he'll need a lifebuoy to find his way to the surface,  

"I-I'm sorry?"

"I wanna eat youuu," Changkyun giggles, fingers tracing Wonho's bicep.

"I-I really think you need food... or maybe I should just get you home," Wonho stutters, slowly inching away from the boy who's seductively scooting closer and practically eating him up with eyes alone.

"Taking me home already?" Changkyun smirks, eyes drooping already. "At least ask me on a date first," he hums, but the baritone of his voice drops deeper, "or maybe just kiss me."

Changkyun's really too far gone. He's way too drunk and if his sober self knew what his mischievous mind was about to do, he'd probably hang himself. But sober Changkyun isn't here, and so drunk Changkyun swiftly moves his body until he's straddling Wonho's lap, because it looks more comfortable than the wood under his butt. He almost stumbles off in the process, but a firm hand keeps him balanced.

Wonho gasps, feeling his heart about jump out of his chest as Changkyun hovers over him. "C-Changkyun, you're r-really drunk"

But Changkyun ignores him and instead leans his face closer until shaky breaths mingle. Wonho immediately turns the opposite way, making Changkyun pout like a puppy. He tries to find a way to make Changkyun listen, when a shiver is sent down his spine because he feels something wet against his jaw. Changkyun's...licking him?

Yup. He _most definitely_ is licking Wonho. 

He traces along the edge of Wonho's jaw with the tip of his tongue, his hips pressing closer. Changkyun gently bites Wonho's earlobe, nibbling at his dangly earring, causing the latter to exhale a breathy moan as his hands clench against the wooden seat. Wonho swears his heart had stopped functioning at that point, because he whimpers under the wet warmth.

"Changkyun, s-stop, you're really dru-- ah," Wonho can't suppress the moan when Changkyun presses their bodies together, teeth sinking into the curve of his neck. Wonho could easily succumb, but taking advantage of a drunk Changkyun will never be on his to-do list. He pushes him off his lap and Changkyun stares at him with horror.

"W-Wonho, why- why do you have....three heads?"

 

And that's it.

That's the last thing Changkyun slurs before his spinning head makes him blackout and fall against Wonho's chest. Wonho sighs in relief and his body finally relaxes.

Well, that's one way to make him stop.

 

He decides to drop the passed out mess at home. He carries him bridal style, and Changkyun's head naturally makes refuge in the nook of Wonho's neck.

He walks by the booth where his friends sat and they smile knowingly at him, telling him to _'take care'_ , and _'be responsible'_.

He had assumed the hardest challenge would have been getting Changkyun out of his drunken state, but oh ho no. Getting the boy situated in his car proves to be nearly impossible. Changkyun had latched onto Wonho's shirt with vice grip the moment he'd been scooped up in those protective arms, and he had no intention of letting go- even if unconscious.

Wonho lowers him onto the passenger seat, but Changkyun lets out a feeble cry, clutching onto his shirt even tighter.

"Hey, I'm going to take you home, it's okay," he comforts, but Changkyun shakes his head with furrowed brows and an expression between worried and terrified. His eyes, however, remain clenched shut.

"N-no... no home... he'll be there... I don't... he'll, he's gunna be- please..."

Wonho's heart drops. Seeing the once confident boy withering into fear spikes instinctive protectiveness within him. He places a soft hand on Changkyun's cheek, "I won't let anyone hurt you, Changkyun"

Wonho wipes away the few tears that had escaped Changkyun's eyes, and the latter finally loosens his grip on the others shirt. He tries to get to the driver seat, he really does, but while Changkyun had let go of his shirt, his hand held Wonho's captive instead. It's like he needed to feel Wonho there. Feel his skin, his touch, just to feel safe and grounded.

The blonde decides that his only option is to crawl over Changkyun so he can get to the driver's seat from the inside, which proves to be... even more difficult. He bumps his head on the roof of his car, twice, which causes him to crouch down a little too far because the gear shift punches his manly bits and Wonho curses fucks under his breath.

 

 

 

When Changkyun wakes up, it's still dark out. He winces in discomfort as the pounding in his head accompanies a deafening ringing deep in his ears. It takes him all but a few moments to wonder how he'd gotten home since he doesn't remember shit. He tries to find his phone in the lack of light, but instead his hand is met with a soft fluff. 

Changkyun screams about 5 octaves higher than his normal voice range, which startles said soft fluff. He tries to run away from the fluff but instead gets tangled in blankets and falls off the couch.

"Be careful! It's just me," says the fluff, which sounds so very familiar, but Changkyun's ringing ears take a second to catch on.

"W-Wonho?? I- I am so sorry oh my god," Changkyun stammers and makes a pathetic attempt to get up because he'd fallen on Wonho and is kinda in his arms now. "Wait, how are you in my house? Did I bring you home?! Did we- did we, _oh my god"_

Wonho's ears turn a bright red. "No no, of course not!" he quickly says. "You blacked out back at the club, so I brought you back. I used your keys, of course, and just changed your clothes because you threw up on yourself the moment I took you out of my car- and I swear I didn't look, I kept the lights off. But nothing else happened, I swear"

Wonho blinks a few times, face red, and hands up in defense. Changkyun blinks back. So that's why his breath stinks.

"Are you an angel?" Changkyun thinks he's said in his mind, but he's still pretty drunk.

Wonho tilts his head in confusion. "What?"

"What?" Changkyun replies immediately.

A moment of painfully awkward staring passes, until Wonho looks away.

"I'm sorry for coming in and staying without your permission," Wonho softly says.

"It's okay. It's a little weird but I'm still thankful. I would've been fine though"

"You tried to run outside and strip the moment I put you on the couch"

"...oh"

Cue awkward silence.

Changkyun scratches his nape.

Wonho shifts a little in his place.  Changkyun turns on the table lamp. The light is dim.

"Are you- are you feeling any better?"

"Uhm... no, but... it's okay"

"You should take some medicine and eat something, it'll help"

Changkyun's face lights up at the blessed sound of food, lips curving from ear to ear and it mirrors on Wonho's face. Changkyun's smile widens, because he finally gets to see that radiant smile he'd been dying to see all week. He doesn't know if Wonho had smiled at the club- or when he even ran into him- because his last memory was getting more shots. After that, it was like someone threw water on a watercolor painting and blended all the colors into incomprehensible blurs. But still those blurs feel beautiful and vibrant, and he wishes he could remember even a momentary glimpse.


	3. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> please comment and let me know what y'all think! This is my first time making a fic like this so i'm both excited and terrified of what y'all will think xD But I hope you guys enjoy it!

**Chapter III**

 

***Timestamps are important**

 

* * *

 

**11.02.18**

 

Wonho tears through the dark empty streets of 10PM, throttling his motorcycle well beyond the speed limit. "32 seconds"

 

_< you're not gonna make it>_

 

"Have I ever not made it?"

 

_< not the point, she's literally just around the corner> _

"So am I," Wonho smirks as he leans closer into his motorcycle, drifting dangerously close to pavement as he turns the corner. He pulls out a silver gun, coming face to face with his target through barely tinted glass and shoots the oncoming vehicle in its tires. The driver throws herself out, not caring that the car is still going out of control and stumbles to take out her gun faster than the other can shoot.

But Wonho has always been quicker.

Her gun is smacked out of her hands before the barrel can even meet his chest and she's held up in the air by the collar.

"You know what I'm here for"

"Heh, do I?" She smirks, struggling to breathe as her hands desperately try to separate Wonho's fist from her neck.

"I don't really like smart-asses"

She spits on his shoes, and he throws her against the pavement, that same shoe now on her chest as she stares down the barrel of his gun.

"Tell me and you _might just_ live"

But her smile is wicked, and Wonho's losing his patience.

She scowls through gritted teeth and dark eyes, "I would _rather die_ than be a traitor like you"

Wonho shrugs. "Have it your way"

 

_< I can't believe you made it> _

"I always do, don't I?" Wonho smiles to the somewhat lazy voice in his ear. He rummages through the dead girls now wrecked car, quickly pulling on a t-shirt identical to hers, and grabs the delivery.

 

 

"I'm five minutes late," he breathes out as he hops off his motorcycle. He makes for the door as quickly as his feet take him, but stops mere feet away.

_< Don't fuck this up now>_

"Shut up"

_< You're so cute when you're nervous> _

"Please stop talking"

_< fine fine, just remember, listen to your head, not your heart, okay Hoseok?> _

Wonho nods in response, knowing the voice can see him through one street camera or another. He huffs a strained block of air that'd been caught in his lungs, and straightens himself out one last time. He puts on his most natural face, and rings the doorbell.

_"I'm coming"_

He hears from the other side, and the simple sound of his voice already got his heart skipping a few beats. But then the door swings open, and there he is.

 

_...Kkukkungie_

 

After 15 agonizing years Wonho is finally standing in front of Changkyun, and he has to blink a few times to keep tears in because his heart is too soft and his golden emotions are stronger than his iron will. But Wonho knows this isn't the time, and so he blocks everything the beating muscle in his chest says and begins the act of a lifetime.

"Hello! I have your delivery, sir. Your total is $45.69"

But it's oh so hard when he's finally _right there,_ looking right into his eyes with that dumbfounded expression.

 _< really? Sir? How lame> _The voice in Wonho's ear saves him and his brain regains control for a moment.

"Sir? Are you okay? Your food is getting cold. I wouldn't want you to have a cold meal"

_< How come you're never that nice to me?>_

Wonho ignores the annoying voice this time, partially regretting leaving his earpiece on.

 

_Why are you staring at me like that..._

 

He half prays the boy doesn't recognize his face, but one half is stronger than the other and he can only hope 

"n- no, I'm fine, just.... tired, uhm--"

"Oh, well, I hope you rest a lot tonight in that case! Here, please take this inside before it gets too cold. I'd hate for your meal to be ruined"

"R-right, uhm, how much was the food stuff again?"

 

_You haven't changed at all_

Wonho's lips curve gently.

_I'm glad_

 

"It's $45.69"

 

Wonho watches every expression, taking the other in entirely. Changkyun looks so much older now, so much wiser, yet that childish gleam in his eyes is still alive and beating and Wonho can't help but smile his widest. 

He watches Changkyun search for his wallet on a table that stood to the side of the front door, and laughs internally because that's not where he'd left his wallet. It's still in his jacket pocket, but Wonho, of course, can't say that out loud.

But Changkyun has always been great at forgetting where he's put what, and Wonho remembers a time from their childhood until he hears glass shatter.

For a moment he panics, until he realizes it's just the vase (that used to be atop the table) and that Changkyun is fine. He's just incredibly clumsy- another trait that hasn't changed- because he sends half the things on the table to the ground.

_< The camera!>_

 

_Shit_

 

"I can help you with that! That's sharp glass," he says, looking at the black haired boy who is still trying to locate his wallet among the dropped mess.

_< If he sees it you're dead>_

"No, no, don't worry! Please, it's okay"

But Wonho steps inside anyways. 

Quickly placing the food on a coffee table that looks much worse than he'd originally thought, he hides the miniscule camera in his sleeve. Changkyun steps away somewhere, and Wonho knows he's gotta think fast. And so he sticks the little thing as inconspicuously as he can on the back foot of the side table. He lets out a sigh of relief, then picks up the shattered glass.

"Where can I toss these?"

Changkyun stumbles over his words, and almost his feet too, and he's even more adorable now than he is through those flat screens. Wonho, for a moment, wishes the boy would look into his eyes again.

"I'm so sorry, t-thank you so much, here, uhm"

But his gaze doesn't meet Wonho's for more than a glance. Maybe for the better, but Wonho struggles nonetheless. His world is spinning so slowly and he can't take his eyes off even if he wanted to. He drops the pieces of glass inside a bag in Changkyun's hands, yet his eyes remain. Changkyun doesn't notice.

"and... here"

_You really don't remember, do you?_

Wonho reaches to get change, but Changkyun's too pure and _god_ he wishes he could tell him to just stop. Everything is too overwhelming and nostalgia is becoming a poison.

"No No! I don't need change, the rest is your tip"

 

_You really haven't changed_

 

"Thank you sir! And I'm sorry for coming in" 

"No worries... thank you for helping me"

"Don't thank me, please," Wonho says softly, "I hope you enjoy your food and rest well"

 

He steps outside, taking one last look at the boy before the door finally shuts and separates them once more. A trembling mouthful of air passes between lips and his knees buckle.

 

"I can't do this"

 

_< You did fine>_

 

"I shouldn't have gone"

 

_< You know it's the best way>_

 

* * *

 

Wonho opens the door to a dimly lit room full of various monitors and the smell of coffee. This is his life. A life in hiding, away from _him_. He heavily plops himself down on a chair, and the voice that had been in his ear turns to him.

 

"Sooo?"

 

Wonho groans. "Shut up Hyungwon. That was the hardest thing I've ever had to do"

"Here," Hyungwon reaches into a mini fridge that lies within an arm's reach, and to this day- it's been ten years since they met so that's a lot of days- Hyungwon's laziness still manages to baffle Wonho. "Have a Red Bull. It gives you wings"

"I don't need wings. I need to surgically remove my fucking heart"

"Don't be so dramatic," Hyungwon turns back to the monitor on his right. He tilts his head. "Where... where did you put the camera?"

"The foot of the side table," Wonho replies without looking. "Why?"

"Its upside down"

Wonho looks. Another cry leaves his lips. "God fucking dammit"

"You always make my life so hard," Hyungwon whines, but Wonho can only sink into the softness of the chair and think of Changkyun. His eyes flutter into the comfortable darkness of his lids, yet all he sees are those dimples, those bright almond eyes and that adorable grin.

 

"His voice is so deep now," he quietly utters, eyes still closed. Hyungwon hums, just barely acknowledging a word.

 

"He's skinnier than I thought he was. I think he might be malnourished." Wonho's eyes open and he scrunches his nose for a second.

"He just ordered half the menu. He's fine"

"He ordered the unhealthiest things. He needs protein, fiber, antioxidants, calcium. Not trans fat, sugar and MSG"

"Hmm"

 

A moment passes and Wonho bites his plump bottom lip. He unconsciously giggles under his breath. "His smile hasn't changed either, and- and he's super clumsy now"

 

Another moment passes.

 

"Why are you acting as if you haven't been watching him for the past god knows how many years," Hyungwon asks but it isn't a question, and his eyes are still glued to the monitor on the right. Wonho stops breathing for a second, smile faded and eyes fixated on his anxious thumbs that were in a battle with each other.

 

"It's not the same," he softly says and honesty isn't sure if Hyungwon even hears him. "Seeing him, actually being in front of him with his eyes on me, him talking to me, it's nothing compared to what I've been doing for the past 15 years" 

Wonho still doesn't look up, but he feels Hyungwon's gentle hand squeezing his shoulder. He glances, and Hyungwon's got a soft smile on his full lips, and Wonho can't help but smile a little too. Hyungwon points to the monitor to his right, and Wonho's eyes follow.

"I turned it right side up"

Wonho's eyes light up. "I love you"

"Bitch you better"

 

* * *

 

 

**11.03.18**

 

Wonho can't see shit. It's too dark, too stuffy yet somehow still freezing, but above all it fucking stinks. He wonders why outhouses are never cleaned on a regular basis and mentally berates whoever obviously isn't doing their job.

_< I feel so bad for you>_

Wonho grunts, face creasing at the putrid smell. "How much longer?!"

_< 45 seconds>_

"I'm gonna die"

_< Please leave your fortune with me>_

"Please, _please_ just for once, shut up," Wonho coughs, trying his best not to breathe because he can visibly see a turd floating inside the toilet beside him. "I think I just threw up," he gags and Hyungwon shamelessly laughs in his ear. "I hate you"

_< I love you too. 10 seconds> _

"I'm really dying"

_< 5> _

"Can't breathe"

_< aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand go!> _

 

Wonho kicks the door open and it instantly slams into something- _hard_.

_< Wow, my timing was perfect> _

Wonho eyes the passed out man, who he'd bitch-slapped in the face with the dirty outhouse door.

"Well, that was easy"

_< Second target is already inside. And so is Changkyun> _

 

 

Wonho steps inside the club, praying to every deity that the stench of human waste (and then some) hasn't stuck to his clothes. He scans the area and it doesn't take long to spot Changkyun. But it also doesn't take long to spot his target, because he's just a few steps behind the former.

_< elbow him> _

"I'm not going to elbow that guy, he's way bigger than me. It'll be like a tickle to him," Wonho whispers

_< I meant your future boyfriend. Elbow Changkyun> _

"No, and don't call him that"

_< trust me> _

Wonho sighs, knowing Hyungwon's got the right general idea. Engaging in conversation with Changkyun would deter the man's plans, and he'll probably walk out and wait until the coast is clear. 

So Wonho walks closer to Changkyun, who's lost in his own world as usual. His eyes are locked onto the ones of the target, however, and he makes his move.

"I'm so sorry," Wonho says as naturally as possible.

 _< I can't believe you actually elbowed him> _ Hyungwon chuckles in his ear and Wonho half wants to tell him to shut the hell up, but Changkyun's eyes are on him and he can't breathe again.

 _< keep talking you idiot, target is still close by> _ 

"Hey, did you rest well?"

_Why do you stare at me with those eyes_

"H-hi-ello, y-yes?"

"That's good, I'm glad you're feeling better and rested"

_< you two need to get a room. I just threw up a little> _

"T-thanks... uhm, thanks for delivering my food"

_< he's so gone for you oh my god> _

Wonho internally rolls his eyes.

_Chae Hyungwon please. shut. up_

"Just doing my job!" Wonho smiles, glancing in the direction of the target.

_< he's heading for the door> _

"Well... I hope you enjoy your night," he quickly smiles at the boy and that's not an act at all.

"You too...," Changkyun mutters, still staring at Wonho until the latter makes for the door.

 

 _< brace for impact> _Hyungwon says a second before Wonho's foot makes it outside the club entrance. But Wonho will always be quicker than whoever is in front of him, and he ducks just in time, punching the man in his gut. 

"Well," Wonho breathes out, stepping back a few steps because that punch didn't do jack shit.

"Hmph," the man steps closer, a blank expression on his face. He grabs Wonho by the collar, pushing him into a secluded alleyway where bystanders can't interfere. Wonho's feet are dangling, his throat is clenching, but his face is as solid as ever and he doesn't let a single ounce of struggle show.

"You're big but you're also kinda dumb," Wonho chuckles and the man makes an expression of insult at the comment. But the target barely has time to react when his face nearly turns a full circle. His teeth go flying, some blood and spit splatter, and Wonho sees all of this in slow motion like in those action movies.

The man falls to the ground and Wonho almost lands on his feet, staggering to catch his breath when arms help him up.

"You shouldn't have gone without me"

Wonho looks up and meets the gentle seal-like eyes of his friend and comrade. He sighs in relief.

"Shownu, I knew you wouldn't be far behind"

"I wasn't, but this girl kept trying to dance with me and was asking for my number so I got held up. Hyungwon told me you needed help, though.

_< I always do save the day>_

Wonho rolls his eyes. "Did you give her your number?"

Shownu smiles. "I gave her Hyungwon's"

Hyungwon cusses in their ears.

 

* * *

 

 

The man is in a straight jacket, tied up in every possible place, and has been given enough sedatives to keep him under control. Hyungwon eyes him carefully, as if he's studying a nearly extinct creature at the zoo. But then the man's lids suddenly fly completely open and his dark pupils stare Hyungwon in the face, who trips backwards and falls on his butt.

 

"The hulk is up," Hyungwon announces as he brushes himself off, returning to the safety of his comfy chair in front of his precious monitors.

 

Wonho gasps with insult from a less-comfortable chair beside Hyungwon's. "How dare you defile the Hulk's name like that?" He smacks the latter's arm before making way to the tied up man.

Shownu nods his head from somewhere behind the captive. "He's more like a really hard constipated log of poop that always clogs the toilet," he says with a small laugh as he measures the man's vitals. Wonho finds the new comparison hilarious, but his expression changes in less than a second when he stares the man dead in the eyes.

"You know what I wanna know," Wonho speaks softly, but there's a sinister undertone in the calm of voice. His face is just inches away, head tilted just a little, but the man has no reaction. " _Yuri_ "

Finally there's a reaction, and it's one that Wonho expected.

The man scoffs, his wide, blistered lips curving, creating ugly wrinkles on his polluted face. "So you still remember us huh?"

"I never forgot. How can I when each and every single one of you is on my hit-list?"

"His blood pressure is low. Heart beat is high. Oxygen is low too," Shownu interrupts. "I'll inject the dose now, so you've got about fifteen minutes before he's out for good and it's too late to give an antidote"

"Hoseok only needs five," Hyungwon grins, twirling in his chair to see the scene.

"So," Wonho smiles as Shownu inserts a large needle in the man's neck. "How about we chat, like old times?"

" _Fuck_ you"

"I'd really rather not," Wonho inhales as if he's seriously appalled by the offer. Which he is.

It doesn't take long for the bone-breaking pain to take over the tied man's body, and he screams out in agonizing pain. His fists clench and face turns red, saliva dripping from his mouth as his central nervous system collapses. Wonho looks away for a moment.

"Thirteen minutes," Shownu says, and Wonho smirks.

"I only need two," he turns back to the man. "You'll live if you tell us where"

The man grunts, crying helplessly and Wonho almost feels bad, until he remembers what he's done. The sins he's committed and the pain he's caused.

Wonho knows how pathetically weak this man's mind is, despite his tank like frame. And the desperate man sputters all the information he can before the pain gets too unbearable, and begs for the antidote. Shownu sticks the new needle in his swelling neck, and Yuri's heart stops beating.

"Too bad there's no antidote," Hyungwon yawns. "I guess I'll help dump the body"

"Wow, look at you not being lazy for once," Wonho jokes, and Shownu turns off the flat lined monitor with a gentle smile on his face.

 

* * *

 

 

**11.04.18**

Wonho's gut twists. He turns the shower knob to its coldest setting and hopes it cools him down. He can't keep his eyes closed, because all he sees is blood on his hands when there's nothing there. His breath is shaky and all he can remember is the day it happened, fifteen years ago. But the pain feels like it was still happening _right now_. As if he's been living through the trauma every second of every minute since it happened and sometimes he thinks it's better to end it all, until he remembers what he's here for. _Who_ he's here for.

He slumps his head against the cool shower tiles, blonde hair sticking to his face and he can barely see anything through the clouds in his eyes.

A knock on the door saves him. It's Hyungwon.

"He's here," he calls out, and Wonho turns the water off.

 

He steps out from the bathroom fully dressed and ready to go, but the nightmares plaguing him seem to shush when he sees the crescent eyes and that heart-shaped smile of his friend.

 

"Jooheonnie it's been so long!" Wonho beams, taking the other in his arms.

"Well, being an actual student is a lot of work, you know? That and my roommate, Minhyuk, never leaves me alone"

Wonho takes a good look at him, and Jooheon can tell he's proud. "You've worked hard"

Jooheon smiles back. Wonho lets him go, only for Shownu to pull him into a bear hug.

"It's good to have our baby back," Hyungwon says lazily, faking a sincere tear. Jooheon pouts.

 

* * *

 

 

  _< aaand cue Im Changkyun>_

 

The bell above the convenience store entrance jingles.

 

The man in Jooheon's headlock kicks his feet as he tries to mutter something, but Wonho's palm covers his mouth as Jooheon shushes him. "Shh!"

_< He's coming to your aisle in like five- no, nevermind, he's grabbing frozen breakfast. Make ten that seconds>_

Jooheon, Wonho, and the guy in Jooheon's headlock crawl to the aisle over, just barely making it out of Changkyun's sight. Wonho peaks from between two cereal boxes to see the younger.

"He's grabbing Twinkies! Why can't he grab the protein bar instead?!" Wonho whispers harshly. Jooheon turns, the man now awkwardly suffocating and kicking between Jooheon's weight as he peeks over too.

_< guys>_

"He's on the move again," Jooheon mouths, and they crawl into the next aisle, the man practically sweeping the floor. Wonho looks towards the counter, where the store owner- an incredibly old woman- nudges her head in Changkyun's direction. Wonho peeks again.

"That _idiot!_ "

Jooheon and the man clenched in his arm both turn to look at Wonho.

"He's getting Tylenol! Everyone knows that's not good for the liver"

"Changkyun, as smart as he is, is also dumb when it comes to a lot of things. Trust me," Jooheon presses his lips and makes a face to emphasize his point. The man seems to quiet down a little. "Just go tell him to get something else"

"I can't just go up there and be like 'Oh, hey, I've been watching you from the aisle over and I can't help but notice you've grabbed the wrong medicine'," Wonho whispers harshly, and the store owner silently tells him to shush when Changkyun's hung-over ears perk a little and his mind seems to stir. The store owner turns up the store music- some really old folk song about love- to an almost blaring volume. Hyungwon sighs heavily in their ears.

_< Just pretend to bump into him>_

Wonho groans. "Why do you always suggest these things"

_< Because unlike you two, I'm smart>_

"I would _greatly_ beg to differ," Jooheon says quietly, tightening his hold on the man's neck as he cries out just barely. "But fine, fine, bump into him. Like that's not a bad cheesy sappy idea at all" He rolls his eyes and goes to face Wonho, but he's already gone. Jooheon moves a few canned fruits over and peeps just as he hears a bottle of pills crashing to the tiled floor.

"I can't believe he _actually_ bumped into him," Jooheon whispers to both a giggling Hyungwon and the struggling man, who just simply whimpers. Jooheon places his hand over his mouth. "Shh"


End file.
